Dear Abby Mistress 1: Forced feminization by girlfriend questions
"How do I get my girlfriend to force feminize me?"
"How do I tell my wife about my crossdressing fantasies?"
"How can I convince my lover to put me in petticoats, skirts and high heels?"
I regularly get such questions, so I thought I'd share some thoughts on the matter following one such request, dear Abby Mistress style...
Dear Mind Mistress,
I have had a forced feminization fantasy for a number of years now, and just recently I got a girlfriend. My question is, how and when should i tell her about this? And would you be willing to help us in any way with things that either of us might need?
Here is My suggestion. Discuss with her that it would be fun to play roles in the bedroom, ask her if she has any fantasies that she might like to play out. Not necessarily things she'd like to happen for real. Like, you've heard or read that rape fantasies are one of the most common fantasies women have. Tell her you understand nobody wants to be really raped, but that a lot of women find it fun to pretend to be forced to do naughty things, especially if they're shy about doing them normally.
Say that's just an example you heard / read is popular with women, and you'd like to know what *her* fantasies are. Say you imagine she might be shy about telling you her fantasies, and you understand because *you* are shy about telling her your fantasies. So if she's cool with that, you have an idea to make it less intimidating. Tell her you could each write 5 fantasies on a piece of paper, and they're not going to be in order of preference, because the one she likes best might be one she's most shy about telling. And that it's the same for you... the ones you like best you're most shy about telling, because fantasies are very personal. Ask her if she trusts you enough to share some of her fantasies with you. If she does, you can each write out little titles of fantasies on a piece of paper. Tell her that you'd only want to play out fantasies you both like, or that can be combined so they're fun for both people.
It might take a few days for her to come up with 5 fantasies, or she might think of them on the spot. You two might agree to write only three (no less than three!), or you might have 8 or 10. Just agree on how many fantasies each of you will write so you each have the same number. As fantasy #1, write something that would be fun to do, a minor fantasy, that you don't care so much if she likes it or not, so you can offer to go first to "break the ice". Tell her the game ends if either of you feels uncomfortable about continuing, but that you have to end with each of you having told an equal number of fantasies, i.e., it's not fair if she hears your fantasy and doesn't tell you one of her own.
If she agrees, tell her the first fantasy on your list, and see how she reacts. Then it's her turn to tell one. After you've each told a fantasy, you can tell each other how you feel about each other's fantasy, and ask questions about how the fantasy would go, what turns you on about them, etc.
Just in case you have a hard time coming up with other fantasies, I'm giving you examples as you might write on your list:
- "I hire a maid, and while she's cleaning, I seduce her" (if she likes this one, she might like being submissive. Male dom)
- "I'm 14 and I have a 17 year old babysitter who seduces me" (if she likes this one, she might like being dominant. Fem dom)
- "I hire a maid, and give her a drink spiked with something that makes her horny and agreeable" (Male dom & mind control fantasy)
- "The babysitter gets upset with me because I keep trying to get out of the house to see my friends, and decides to dress me in my sister's clothing, to punish me, and so I won't dare let anyone see me" (humiliation and forced feminization fem dom)
- "The boss discovers a dirty secret and blackmails the employee into sexual favors. We could take turns being boss" (this one is sneaky... by giving her the choice, you see wether she prefers being in control or being controlled)
Now people being the way they are, if you have a list of 5 fantasies, I'll bet you dollars to donuts that her favorite fantasy is in position 3 or 4 . Probably position 4. Position 1 is testing the waters and least likely to be a really intense one for her. It's a take it or leave it fantasy. Number 5 might be the wildest but usually not the favorite. You can learn a lot by watching her expressions while she's writing out each fantasy.
NB: I'm assuming here you've already had sex with her. If that's not the case, that at least you've done some heavy necking, kissing and caressing. Role play doesn't have to include sex, and you can point that out to her. It can be very sexy without sex. If you're not at that point yet, wait. You might even want to wait till you've had sex with her 3 times. By that point, she's committed to the relationship, and probably willing to do things that can reinforce the relationship. You might tell her you feel comfortable enough with her, and trust her enough to tell her your fantasies. This should be flattering to her.
Another idea is to offer her a game of Fantasy Poker. You each have to write out at least 5 fantasies before the game starts, and whenever one of you loses a hand, that person has to take a drink (something strongly alcoholic preferably). The fourth time they lose however, they have to take a drink AND and reveal a fantasy. The alcohol helps loosen you up... (or other recreational drugs that you've both used before, and that you know reduce inhibitions)
Depending on your normal drinking habits and tolerance to alcohol, "a drink" might mean anything from a shotglass of bailey's (yummm...), to a glass of beer (small or big), or a sip or wine. The idea is that you should be looser and relaxing by the 4rth drink and not comatose after the 8th drink (because you want to be snuggling and discussing the fantasies!). When you run out of fantasies, you simply drink when you lose. The game ends when you both run out of fantasies, and the winner gets to snuggle in a location of their choice! :)
As for My direct help... I love working with couples, and I do two for the price of one. If she's really eager and open to it, you can tell her about My services after role-playing a few times. If she's wanting to try it, but finds herself too shy to actually do it, you can show her My therapy site, and say I do therapy to reduce inhibitions, with or without hypnosis (I really do!). With NLP, it's really easy to "short-circuit" inhibitions without any actual trance, or feeling of loss of control whatsoever. Of course, she has to be willing in either case. If she's willing, but doesn't find the idea arousing... well, that's easy for Me to change... (mouahahahaha...)
On the other hand, if you're happy with the role playing, you don't need Me. *Smile*
Note: This seems like a wonderful introduction to a "Dear Abby" type page. Would you give Me permission to post your question and My answer on the site? As I spent almost an hour answering you, it would be nice to share the advice with others in your position. I can either make your question anonymous, or use a pseudonym of your choice.
It's really much easier when your Mistress is within licking distance...